Killing Clarke
by Gloria0202
Summary: "I think about you too," Lexa lets out softly with a smile on her face. "I mean I masturbate about you a lot." "Ok, that's.." Clarke blurts out looking for the appropriate word when Lexa interrupts her guessing, "Too much?" "No, I just...I wasn't expecting that," Clarke admits... Or Killing eve AU, kind of? If it were Clexa on the last scene of episode 8.
1. I'm gonna kill you

At the sound of the door unlocking, Clarke's heartbeat races. She cannot believe that the old lady just gave her the key to the apartment of the woman she has been chasing for weeks, the woman who has been ruining her life for the same amount of time.

A strange feeling coils in her guts when she clicks the door close behind her, she is about to walk into Lexa's home. She shouldn't name her Lexa because she is a psychopath, a killer and her mission is to catch her not be familiar and feel empathy for her or anything else on the matter.

However, Clarke cannot help thinking of her as Lexa because the last few days a lot happened between them to the point where everyone in her team teases her referring to the gorgeous psychopath _'Clarke's girlfriend'_.

Much to her surprise, Lexa's Parisian apartment looks rather shitty with ugly overused furniture and dirty walls. Judging her fine taste in mostly everything especially her fashion, Clarke doubts the gorgeous brunette had been living here for so long because she is a woman who loves luxury as she easily can afford it with her _killer_ paycheck.

Clarke walks with hesitant footsteps in the first room at her right, Lexa's bedroom and looks around. It is not as she imagined it would look, it simply has a double bed, a wardrobe and a small dressing table and it has a typical French double door entrance directly onto the rest of the apartment. Clarke decides to not linger too long into the bedroom wanting to explore the rest of the apartment so she walks towards the living-room without stopping then gets in the bathroom.

The first thing that catches her attention is the big collection of perfumes, no wonder the one Lexa sent her as a gift in the bag she stole from her smells heavenly good just like her. Then, she notices a golden faucet and blurts out in disbelief, "Are you kidding me?" She sits on the edge of the bath and touches it. Lexa isn't bothered by her ugly furniture in the apartment but she clearly likes to cleanse the blood of her victims away in a luxurious bath.

Clarke shakes the image of the brunette's body naked in the bath away from her thoughts – _she shouldn't picture the woman like that_ – and stands walking towards a small black closet. She opens it and finds it filled with outfits and a blonde wig, she subconsciously caresses it then coming back to her senses she takes her hand away and looks down at a drawer.

At this point, she cannot _not_ open it and have a deeper look into Lexa's intimacy. There is something about her that leaves Clarke intrigued. She wants to know everything about her, every little detail of her life even the insignificant ones.

The drawer is full of guns and knives, somehow Clarke is not surprised. The black closet is apparently where Lexa keeps her _'work'_ outfits and tools. She goes back to the living-room without closing the drawer, Lexa messed up her life so she is not going to bother and keep her apartment tidy. She throws her handbag on the sofa along with her coat making herself comfortable. She has been running around Paris after the beautiful criminal the whole day with an empty stomach, she is exhausted.

She walks to the fridge to get any leftovers or something edible that may give her some energy in her system to face the woman again and when she opens it she finds nothing but bottles of expensive champagne. She throws her head back laughing in disbelief, Lexa is obviously unapologetic about how she makes her living. She celebrates each one of her victims.

Clarke knows that she shouldn't drink with an empty stomach but grabs one bottle and on her way back to Lexa's bedroom she pops it open and takes a thirsty first sip and ends up spilling some on the floor.

She takes a second look of the bedroom and remembers that she didn't not check the wardrobe. She puts the champagne bottle on the dressing table and opens the dressing then freezes for a second before taking a step closer. The first thing she notices is her own clothes, the ones she packed for her first trip to chase the psychopath woman around Europe. She takes the green scarf Finn offered her and stares at it for a moment to make sure that it is indeed hers before she takes all of her clothes off the dressing throwing them away feeling anger boiling her blood.

She doesn't stop there, she strews every piece of fabric that was hanging in the wardrobe on the bedroom's floor and when there was nothing left to throw, Clarke felt the urge to let her anger out. She grabs the bottle of champagne and drinks from it again before kicking all of Lexa's belonging off the surface of her dressing table. The sound of glass shattering somehow delights her frantic rage, the next thing she does is throwing the bottle on the bedroom's floor and pants listening to the sizzling of the champagne.

Feeling surprisingly good, she runs back into the kitchen and decides that she wants to keep going and ruin Lexa's apartment. She opens the fridge and throws a second bottle of champagne, a little yelp of excitement escapes her lips. Just as the sizzling sounds of the expensive champagne die, she throws another bottle with all the strength she has left in her driven by her newly found madness.

Suddenly, all her excitement is clouded and mixed with fear as she hears the apartment's door closing and keys shuffling. Her instinct kicks in and her feet rush her to the bathroom which is the closest. She hides at the corner next to the black closet then takes a knife and hides it in her back pocket before grabbing a gun. She was trained to shoot but she never got to use one behind her desk.

Feeling safe enough and confident with a gun in her hands, Clarke walks to the bedroom where she finds Lexa standing next to her wardrobe contemplating all the damage. When she turns around and looks at her, Clarke's heart thuds hard against her chest and her hands start trembling like a leaves on a windy day.

"Did you have a party or something?" Lexa asks with a smile on her face which irritates Clarke to no end. She doesn't fathom the way this woman is, how can she not care and easily quip while there is no room for jokes.

"I have lost two jobs, a husband and my best friend because of you," Clarke blurts out with a shaky voice.

"Yeah but you got some really nice clothes out of it so…" Lexa shrugs indifferently.

Clarke straightens her posture and lifts up the gun in her hands pointed at Lexa's direction and takes a deep breath ready to shoot the woman who is mocking her loss but before she could answer her, Lexa asks her with yet another mocking tone.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"I'm gonna kill you," Clarke replies.

"No, you're not," Lexa interjects.

"I am," Clarke insists feeling offended.

"You're not."

"I am."

"You like me too much," The brunette states smugly and Clarke exhales realizing that the woman knows her more than she knows herself. Seeing her reaction, Lexa chuckles happily arms crossed over her chest.

"So what now, Clarke?" Lexa asks.

"I'm gonna tell you something," Clarke announces then points her gun at the dressing table's seat and orders, "Sit down."

Lexa complies and looks at Clarke who lets her arms down at her sides and walks to the bed where she puts the gun and sits facing her crush? Her enemy? Clarke doesn't know how to categorize the infuriatingly beautiful woman. They stare silently at each other for a moment, Lexa's lips part ready to say something but then she closes them.

Clarke throws her head down in surrender then sighs looking back at Lexa and confesses, "I think about you all the time. I think about what you're wearing, and what you're doing and who you're doing it with. I think about what friends you have. I think about what you eat before you work, what shampoo you use, what happened in your family. I think about your eyes, your mouth and….what you feel when you kill someone. I think about what you have for breakfast…I just wanna know everything."

"I think about you too," Lexa lets out softly with a smile on her face. "I mean I masturbate about you a lot."

"Ok, that's.." Clarke blurts out looking for the appropriate word when Lexa interrupts her guessing, "Too much?"

"No, that's..I wasn't expecting that," Clarke admits and Lexa chuckles looking at the floor. "So you trash my apartment because you like me so much?" She asks trying to understand Clarke's reasoning.

"I…I know it's not conventional," Clarke lets out not knowing how to justify her frenzy. "What do you want?" She asks pointing her index finger in warning adding, "Honestly, and don't be a dick."

Lexa shrugs answering, "Normal stuff." Then elaborates, "Nice life, cool flat, fun job. Someone to watch movies with."

Clarke closes her eyes and lies back down on the bed. "God, I'm tired." Lexa nods staring at her for a moment then stands up and grabs the gun, she doesn't want to risk anything happening to the blonde. She thinks about hiding it away from her but then Clarke asks her, "Aren't you tired?"

"A little," Lexa acquiesces sitting on the bed next to her. She looks at Clarke for a moment seeing if she minds that she is so close to her but the blonde doesn't seem to care, she even has her eyes closed which encourages Lexa to lie down next to her.

Holding the gun tightly against her chest, Lexa chuckles looking at her. "You found me."

"Yes," Clarke replies.

"Well done," Lexa compliments impressed by the woman's perseverance. Clarke giggles happily, "Thank you." She opens her eyes and notices the gun in Lexa's hands.

"Are you gonna kill me?" She genuinely asks because she doesn't know if whether the brunette wants to kill her, or wants to be with her or even wants to be her as she clearly has been using her name and stealing her clothes. Lexa looks right into her blue eyes and shakes her head.

"Promise," Clarke demands.

"Promise," Lexa whispers and looks down at the gun in her hands then hides it under her bedside. She waits for a moment then flips on her side looking at Clarke and asks, "Would you stay for a bit?"

Clarke opens her eyes letting her words sink in before flipping on her left side to face Lexa, "Sure." She takes a deep breath in attempt to calm her racing heartbeat but to no avail. Lexa pushes a strand of blonde hair off her face and caresses her cheekbone with her thumb.

"I've never done something like this before," Clarke confesses with a shaky voice.

"It's ok," Lexa reassures her softly scooting closer to her, "I know what I'm doi- waw." She stops looking down at the knife Clarke is pushing against her stomach. She smiles at Clarke and says, "That's wrong."

"Yeah," Clarke replies with venom.

"You can't," Lexa smiles confidently knowing that she got too far under her skin. Clarke pushes the knife harder against her skin causing it to bleed and replies tears threatening to fall, "I can."

Instead of reacting and pushing her assaulter to defend herself, the brunette keeps still staring deep into blue eyes. It takes Clarke a few seconds before she throws the knife away letting out a strangled sob which takes Lexa by surprise. She suddenly feels guilty, a feeling she rarely or never gets for the people who assault her.

"I'm sorry," She whispers looking away not bearing to look at Clarke's tears. "I never meant to turn you into this."

Clarke tries to get off the bed but Lexa quickly grabs her wrist and pulls her back on the bed before cupping her face in her hands, "You came into my life and ruined everything, I was fine before…you ruined everything I had, everything I am…I was."

Clarke fights pushing her away, "Get your hands off me." Instead of complying, Lexa kisses her like no one has done before but then a sob escapes her lips. Lexa pulls back regretting everything she has done so far. She looks into Clarke's eyes one last time and just as she is about to move away and leave, Clarke wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her back in another kiss.

It is sloppy and needy but it is everything they both have been craving. They make out for a tad longer than they should then Clarke takes Lexa's hand and moves it down between her thighs pushing it under the hem of her panties. Lexa gasps against her lips at the feeling of her wetness and begs, "Clarke, wait!"

Clarke tilts her head back and looks at Lexa questioningly, "I thought…that's what you want?"

"Yeah but….then what?" Lexa asks back. Clarke closes her eyes not knowing what to answer, she is too tired to use her brain. She thinks she lost her sanity by now after all she is lying on a psychopath killer's bed making out with her whilst she should be turning her to the police.

"Would you stop killing?"

"I can't," The brunette replies honestly.

"Of course," Clarke breathes out tiredly.

"Why did you choose this job? Going after criminals, risking your life?" A laugh escapes Clarke's lips and Lexa continues, "I mean I'd never endanger my life."

"You're a psychopath, Lexa. That's all you want to do," Clarke blurts out. Lexa keeps silent for a moment and Clarke realizes what she just said, the brunette already told her that she hates when someone tells her she is a psychopath. She thinks about rephrasing but then Lexa asks again, "I mean normal people wouldn't want a job like that, why you?"

"Why? What would you do if you didn't kill people for a living?"

"Open a flower shop," Lexa answers in a heartbeat. Clarke can't help herself giggling, "You? A flower shop owner?"

Lexa uncharacteristically blushes, "Why not?"

"I don't know," Clarke shrugs. "It would be too boring for you, I think."

"Flowers aren't boring." The brunette lets out defensively, almost pouting."I really love flowers."

"What do we do now?" Again the question comes back and this time it is Clarke who mutters it.

"You move in with me. Paris is a beautiful city, and you won't ever need to work. I've enough money for the rest of our lives."

Clarke chuckles shaking her head, "You're funny…and crazy."

Lexa leans closer and kisses her on the cheek before whispering, "You're what I miss, stay with me."

"We both know how it would end if I stay. I'd either die or kill you." Clarke replies seriously.

"I thought we've already established that you can't, you like me too much to do it."

Lexa's answer kicks Clarke back to reality, she hops off the bed rushes to the living-room where she left her hand bag and takes her phone. Lexa looks at her for a moment before realizing what she is doing, she rolls off the bed and takes her gun aiming it at her, "Put your phone down, Clarke."

"You don't wanna kill me," Clarke replies confidently trying to use Lexa's tactics.

"I killed Costia yet I didn't want to do it." She lets out reminding Clarke of what she is capable of but the blonde doesn't obey.

"Yeah… _bonjour, je suis Clarke Griffin et je suis avec une criminelle psychopathe russe présumée morte_ …"

"Put the fucking phone down, Clarke. You're abusing my patience," Lexa yells angrily.

" _Oui, elle est trés dangereuse, elle a une arme dans la main pointé sur moi,"_ Clarke continues to talk to the police looking straight into Lexa's green eyes and before she can give him the address, Lexa fires a bullet next to her leg.

Clarke jumps away letting her phone fall and shouts for help. Lexa rolls her eyes and lets out, "What a pussy!" before shooting Clarke's phone and starts packing. Seeing that she was about to leave, Clarke runs to the apartment's door and gets in her way trying to stop her.

"What do you want form me?" Lexa screams at her.

Clarke is taken aback by her question but she quickly lets her anger out replying, "I want you to stop killing people for fun, to stop this…I want you to get help. I want you to pay for what you did… _I hate you_ , I don't want you to get away with what you've done to me."

"Sorry, I don't have time for this." Lexa lets out pushing Clarke away from the door and knocks her down then leaves without looking back eyes fill with tears.


	2. You make me wanna kiss you

Leaving Clarke unconscious in her apartment was the hardest thing Lexa had done so far. It was harder than having to kill her ex-girlfriend Costia, harder than leaving her teacher who meant so much to her. She didn't want to admit it to herself even if it was pretty clear, she was ready to do whatever it takes her to get a chance to be with Clarke.

Literally anything even killing The Twelve.

The whimpers of the man agonizing brings Lexa back from her thoughts, she looks at him eyes filled with hatred then leans down and pulls her favorite knife out of his hand before wiping it on him.

The old man growls seeing his blood all over his designer suit and Lexa shrugs, "Sorry, I usually respect nice suits but you're not helping."

"I told you…I've nothing to do with your last assignment."

Lexa chuckles shaking her head, "And you want me to believe that?"

"I can prove it," The old man lets out desperately but Lexa is not convinced. She knows he is lying to save his ass and protect his allies. Nonetheless, she decides to give him a chance because the new _her_ would do it.

She walks to the mini-bar in his office and pours herself a glass of whisky before tugging a chair next to him and sits. She tastes her drink then stares thoughtfully at her glass for a moment before looking back at him.

"I'm listening," She lets out crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair. The old man does his best telling her about all the targets he assigned her saying that he has a list he made years ago since the beginning of the secret organization and that he would give it to her if she spared his life.

Lexa didn't need to read that list, she wasn't interested in knowing what political scheme and ploys The Twelve have for the world as soon as her name was not in that list. She never thought about looking for The Twelve or kill any of them. They were her bosses somehow and paid her well for her services and that was it, at least it was the case a few weeks ago.

Things have changed and became personal for two reasons.

First, she was assigned to kill her mentor Anya. She went along with it but she didn't plan to kill her, she wanted to kidnap her and understand why The Twelve would want to kill their best recruiter.

Easier said than done, Anya was not easy to catch even at her old age she still was fit and untraceable. Lexa didn't know much about her but she managed to get hold of her weakness, her family. She didn't want to use them because Anya was not any target, she was her mentor and she considered her as the mother she never had.

Abducting her ten years old son was easy but harder to manage, Aden was the most annoying and challenging human being Lexa had ever encountered. She didn't fathom why would Anya want him back, she felt sympathy for her and at the same time she understood how the old woman was able to keep up with her craziness. Somehow Aden was a lot like Lexa which explains the soft spot Anya had for her.

The second reason was Clarke.

After leaving Paris, the blonde kept looking for her and even started investigating The Twelve which slowed Lexa down as she kept killing all the assassins sent to murder the blonde instead of focusing on her task to end the secret organization on her own.

What annoyed Lexa was the fact that Clarke was completely clueless at the beginning and put her life in danger unnecessarily. And when she became aware that someone _– Lexa –_ got her back she became fearless which made it worse and harder for Lexa to protect her from The Twelve.

She knew Clarke was doing it on purpose, just to catch her again as whenever she left her a warning note or a gift, Clarke would always stick her middle finger high in the sky for Lexa to see from wherever she was watching her.

Lexa sighs tired of hearing the old man's pleas."Would you please shut up for a moment?" She asks nicely needing to think about what to do next. She doesn't want to kill him but she knows if she doesn't, he will do everything in his power to kill her.

"What would you do if I spare your life?" She questions.

"I'll give you the list, I'll give you one million euros. No, no…two and a Swiss chalet in the Alps."

"I don't like snow," Lexa says bitterly. "It reminds me of Russia."

"I'll….I'll see what I can find you in France, you like France, don't you? I can get you a nice place in Saint-Tropez," The old man tries again hoping to give her something but Lexa grimaces not pleased by his answer, "It's too crowded for me."

Seeing that Lexa stood up and walked away to get her gun, the old man yells in despair, "I'll give you anything you want, just name it….please just don't kill me."

Lexa smiles loading her gun but the second she turns back to shoot him her smile fades away and her eyes widen in shock, "Clarke?"

"Wha…what?" He asks equally confused.

"Put your gun down, Lexa." Clarke orders firmly standing behind the old man and for some reason Lexa's heart swells with pride. Clarke became more confident and she sounds more convincing than the last time she saw her with a gun in her hands.

"Oh thank you, thank you for-" The old man lets out happily thinking that she came to save him when both Lexa and Clarke point their guns at him yelling at him to shut up in unison.

Lexa smiles at Clarke eyeing her from head to toe, there is no doubt that she has been working out.

"I heard you from down the street." Clarke adds.

"Your hair!" Lexa blurts out softly. The old man looks at her confused not understanding what this woman came for.

"You're one of The Twelve, right?" Clarke asks ignoring Lexa's comment and the way she is staring at her. She cut her hair short because she knew Lexa loves her long hair.

"I like the pink tips though," Lexa says her eyes never leaving Clarke's face. The old man looks at her with a raised eyebrow giving her the _'What the fuck is wrong with you?'_ look. Clarke rolls her eyes and pushes her gun against his face to get his attention back. "Answer me."

"Yes?" He replies hesitantly.

"I missed you," Lexa confesses not giving a single fuck about expressing her feelings for Clarke in front of the old man. She can't let him live anyway now that he knows who her weakness is.

"Shut up!" Clarke lets out taking a second gun from her waist and points it at Lexa who bites her lip loving how confident the blonde got.

"Sexy," She adds eyeing Clarke who ignores her and walks closer to the old man and ordering, "Take my phone from my pocket."

"Not again, Clarke!" Lexa lets out annoyed, "Haven't you learn anything last time?"

"This time I'm the one holding the guns," Clarke smirks confidently before moving closer to the man so he can take her phone out of her pocket.

"Don't! If you do that your wife and kids will suffocate to death," Lexa warns him.

"She's bluffing, take my phone" Clarke interjects feeling her patience running out.

"She's not," The old man confirms and Lexa shrugs.

"I see you haven't changed a bit," Clarke remarks and it is all it takes to break the brunette's heart because she had changed, a lot. The old Lexa would have killed the man merciless the minute she stepped into his office instead of trying to think about another way and waste her time with him.

"I have," Lexa disagrees in a whisper. "What are you going to do? Do you even speak Portuguese?"

"Would you just shut up for a minute?"

"Alright," Lexa lets out leaning back against the desk behind her and looking expectantly at her.

"Your gun," Clarke says gesturing for her to drop the gun down and give it to her. Lexa shoots the man straight in the head then throws her gun to Clarke before she can blink.

"What the fuck?" Clarke shouts angrily looking down at the old man then at her white shirt which is now stained with his blood.

Lexa holds her hands up, "Calm down, Clarke."

"Calm down? How the fuck am I supposed to do that? You just killed him," Clarke replies furiously walking towards Lexa who tries to take a step back hitting the desk behind her.

"I had to," Lexa explains.

"Why?" Clarke asks taking a step closer to her.

"It's complicated."

"Why?" Clarke insists, "I thought you work for them!"

"I did," She corrects looking deep into her eyes. Clarke's blue eyes is the thing she missed the most the last few months.

"You don't need him. You already know where the other five are, don't you?" Clarke asks rhetorically.

"One," Lexa corrects, "There's only one left."

Clarke gapes at her not believing what she just heard, she thought she was aware of every move the brunette made. "Why? I don't get it!"

Lexa looks at her for a moment then answers almost shyly, "I did it for you."

"What?" Clarke lets out horrified taking a step back from her and Lexa feels her heart crack.

"I did it so we can be together."

"Don't," Clarke shakes her head, "Don't you dare say that, I didn't ask for any of that to happen. I begged you to stop murdering people."

"I know, that's not what I meant. I did it for me" She rectifies, "So I can have a normal life."

"Oh my god! You're sick, you're even worse than I thought." Clarke walks backwards to put some distance between her and the psychopath.

"Clarke, please!" The words come out of her mouth before she can stop them. "Don't leave," She begs walking in her direction despite the risk of being shot. The blonde is not the same inexperienced and clueless MI5 agent anymore.

"Don't get anywhere near me," Clarke warns walking backwards to the door but Lexa's footsteps doesn't flatter.

"I said stop," Clarke screams furiously.

"I can't," Lexa shakes her head closing the remaining distance and Clarke pushes the gun under her chin.

"I want to be a better person for you, Clarke…I really do," Lexa pours her heart out leaving Clarke speechless. "But I couldn't just walk away from everything especially after you started your investigations. They could have killed you."

"Isn't what you wanted in the first place?" Clarke asks looking straight into green eyes. Lexa wants to answer but she knows now is not the right time for such confessions. Indeed, it was her intention to get the so called _'Clarke Griffin'_ killed because she was a threat to her but then she saw her and she couldn't do it.

"Let me go," She says instead. "There's only one man left to kill and I'm done."

"Actually, there's two. Anya is alive," Clarke smirks proudly thinking that Lexa didn't know whilst she was the one who deliberately missed her shot. She could have targeted her heart but she didn't.

"Anya isn't one of them."

"Well, for me she is. She's going to rot in prison." Clarke announces and Lexa's heart constricts. "Tell me you didn't."

"Not yet but I will, at least you'll have a friend in there," Clarke replies.

"Clarke, just let me go. Killing the last one is the only way to save our lives and you know it."

Clarke thinks for a moment then shakes her head, "I'm sorry, I can't."

"Then kill me, Clarke. Do it," Lexa says wrapping her hands around Clarke's urging her to pull the trigger. Clarke's eyes widen and for the first time since she stepped into the office, she hesitates.

She tries to lower her gun down but Lexa tightens her hold keeping it under her chin asking with her eyes filled with tears, "Do it because I don't want to watch you or Anya die, I can't." She shakes her head and Clarke realizes that the brunette is shaking.

"Lexa, please!" Clarke begs her to loosen her hold and Lexa complies. "We should leave, someone might have alerted the police by now."

Clarke nods agreeing, she doesn't want to be caught with two guns in her possession in a foreign country. Lexa leans down and grabs her gun then just as Clarke is about to open the door so they could leave, she pulls her back into her personal space. Clarke's breath hitches and her eyes go down to Lexa's lips as she murmurs, "Your shirt." Then zips her leather jacket to hide the blood stains.

"Right," Clarke blushes then feels Lexa's hand taking hers. "Let's go."

"Wait, what about his family?" Clarke asks.

"They're safe." Lexa replies.

Clarke follows Lexa's lead as she probably knows Porto more than her and have a safer place where they can't be found. About a thirty minutes' walk through the least busiest streets of the beautiful city, they finally arrive to their safe place where they can talk.

As soon as they stepped into the little rented apartment, Lexa locked the door and went to the bedroom where she got Clarke a fresh towel and sweat pants and a tank top. "Here, take these off and go take a shower then we'll talk."

Clarke smiles at her nodding, she can't believe how considerate Lexa is with her. She will never cease to amaze her. Just as she is about to go Lexa speaks again, "Do you want something to eat?"

Clarke stares at blankly for a moment taken aback by her question before replying, "Yes, please."

Lexa gives Clarke the time to shower, change into clean clothes then eat before she brings the conversation again to explain that there is no other way for them to get back to their respective lives safe and sound except if she finishes what she started. It takes her almost an hour to finally convince her.

"I know that, Lexa. What I don't know is if I should trust you again." Clarke replies looking at the ceiling.

They are both sitting on a small couch with their legs on the wooden coffee table, Lexa slightly propped on her side looking at her. She can't help feeling her heart warm with hope. Clarke is thinking about the future which means that she won't just walk away from her life, she will be there otherwise why would she care to trust her or not. "Did I ever lie to you?"

She watches Clarke thinking for a moment before answering with a shrug, "Killing is your life, what would you do after you kill him? Will you ever stop?"

"I hope so," She sighs knowing that she can't give her a final answer, she can't promise her.

Clarke finally tilts her head looking straight into Lexa's eyes and says, "Hope isn't enough, Lexa. You have to seek help."

"I can't promise you that I won't do it again because now I've a lot of potential enemies," Lexa reminds her about the reality of her job, "Once a killer, always a killer. It's part of who I am."

"Part," Clarke mutters, "That part is Heda." Then puts her hand on Lexa's chest adding, "You are Lexa, it's different."

At Clarke's touch, Lexa holds her breath hoping that she doesn't notice how fast her heart is beating. This is why she is so smitten by this woman, she understands her more than anyone ever did.

Clarke sees things in her that Lexa herself doesn't know about. She cares for her more than anyone ever did. No one else in her life had ever tried to stop her from what she was doing, no one begged her to try and have a normal life and no one ever tried to know her _– Lexa not Heda the assassin_.

Clarke moves her hand up to Lexa's face and caresses it with her fingertips startling the brunette out of her thoughts trying to lighten up the mood, "Lexa would be a great flower shop owner." Their eyes lock and they both burst in laughter.

' _It feels nice,'_ Lexa thinks to herself. She would do anything to have Clarke in her life, to share lazy afternoons with her or spend a day at the beach together. Clarke would look stunning in a bikini, Clarke is gorgeous in anything.

"Don't look at me like that," Clarke lets out interrupting her reveries before continuing, "You make me wanna kiss you."

Lexa smiles, "Why is it a bad thing?"

"Yes," Clarke breathes out looking down at her lips.

"Finn?"

"No," Clarke shakes her head. "I just _want_ you and I shouldn't. We can't be together."

"Why not? We both like each other," Lexa replies hastily.

"I'm not ready to fully trust you, not yet." Clarke confesses. "You scare me."

Lexa feels happier than she ever was, Clarke wants to be with her too. "I'll wait as long as it takes," She promises before adding in a whisper, "You scare me too, you make me feel things…things I never felt, things I can't control."

Clarke stands up and takes Lexa's hand tugging her up before wrapping her arms around her neck pulling her in a hug. Lexa reciprocates bringing their bodies impossibly closer then takes a deep breath nuzzling Clarke's hair. They stay like that for a moment before Clarke loosens her arms to look at Lexa.

"I'm gonna leave. I'll go home and once…everything is over, we'll talk about what we do next."

"I'd love that," Lexa whispers.

"I'll help you to get a normal life," Clarke promises.

"I love you," Lexa can't help blurting out her green eyes filled with tears and Clarke leans up kissing her lips but just as Lexa is about to deepen the kiss someone knocks on the door.


	3. Don't die, ok?

"Since when do you knock?" Lexa lets out as soon as she opens the door then Clarke steps out of her hiding feeling stupid.

"You lied to me," She speaks before Anya gets to answer the brunette. "You said you didn't know where she is."

"You found her, didn't you?" Anya replies then turns to Lexa adding, "There's someone watching your every move, I didn't recognize him but I kept him busy enough to not see you walk Porto's streets like a fucking tourist."

"Where is he now?" Lexa asks worried. Normally, she wouldn't because she can handle herself but now Clarke is with her.

"He's probably trying to find his way back, he chased me for some time."

"Take Clarke with you and make sure to send her back home safe. Protect her like you would protect Aden, do you hear me?" Lexa says hastily ignoring Clarke's attempt to interrupt her.

"By the way he misses you," Anya says casually, "He doesn't shut up about you anymore."

"Excuse me!" Clarke lets out waving her gun between them to get their attention. "I'm not going anywhere with neither of you."

Lexa sighs rubbing her forehead, "Clarke, please!"

"He's apparently after you and he chased her, so I'll be safer on my own." Clarke explains before walking towards the bedroom where she left her clothes.

"I hate to admit but she's got a point here," Anya says looking back at Lexa who nods, "I know but what if-"

"Oh wow," Anya blurts out interrupting her. "You _really_ like her, don't you?"

"I love her," Lexa says and Anya can't help the smile on her face. "I'm happy for you but she's gonna break your heart. You two are from different worlds."

"I know and I'm still willing to try."

"I'll protect her," Anya promises when Clarke comes back from the bedroom all dressed and ready to leave.

"I guess I'll see you in few weeks," She says hiding her guns. Lexa looks at Anya who nods and leaves the apartment to give them some privacy.

"Where is she going?" Clarke asks zipping up her leather jacket. Instead of answering her question, Lexa takes her hands and says looking deep into blue eyes, "Don't do anything stupid, ok?"

"I'll try," Clarke smiles and Lexa can't help herself leaning to give her a chaste kiss. She wants to deepen it but she doesn't want Clarke to feel pressured, she told her she would wait as long as it takes for her to be ready.

"Don't die, ok?" Clarke says itching to hug Lexa again before leaving but doesn't not wanting to make it harder for herself. She needs to get away from all this mess if she wants to have a normal _– safe –_ life with Lexa. She needs to do it because if she doesn't Lexa won't ever stop being a killer and they won't be together.

"I'll do my best," Lexa whispers. If she always was careful, now she is going to be ten times more careful then before. She has a reason, Clarke. And she has hope of a normal life.

Again Anya knocks lightly on the door popping their bubble.

"I thought she left!" Clarke frowns a little bothered. She just wanted the moment to last longer.

"Please, Clarke. I can't let you go without any protection while an assassin is out there."

Clarke nods, "But I'm not staying with her. I'll go back to my hotel in case he's looking for her."

"Of course," She smiles proudly. Clarke might not have the same experience as her at hiding and being chased but she is observant.

The minute they leave the building, Anya sees the man who has been chasing them. She pulls Clarke into a small shop to hide and says, "That's him."

Clarke looks at the direction Anya is staring then says walking outside of the shop to get a better look, "I think I've seen him somewhere."

"Another reason for us to leave."

"But he's going straight to Lexa," Clarke lets out worried.

"Let's go, she'll be fine." Anya reassures her but it doesn't work. Clarke reaches for her phone to warn the brunette then remembers that she doesn't have her number.

"Give me her number."

"I don't have it, move," Anya retorts before tugging her out of the shop and taking her the furthest possible. She promised Lexa she would protect her and keep her safe and she intends to keep her word.

 **Two days later;**

Clarke was about to leave, she really was a step away from going back home as she agreed with Lexa but she couldn't do it. She couldn't just leave the country after what happened between them, after that the brunette has confessed her love.

It goes without saying that she couldn't sleep that night, images of Lexa crowding her mind. Thoughts about what could have happened if they were not interrupted. How far they would have gone this time? Would have she reciprocated her feelings? Every fiber in her being wanted Lexa except for the little voice in her head that kept warning her to not fall with the brunette.

 _But it was too late. She loves her._

The next morning, Clarke managed to escape from Anya's guard _– or so she thought –_ to go see Lexa but the apartment was empty. She was relieved that nothing in there was shattered; there were neither bullets nor blood stains. Once she was back to her hotel room Anya informed her that Lexa is not in that apartment anymore.

Again Clarke tried her luck and asked her for Lexa's whereabouts or at least to give her number but Anya replied that it is not how it works. They don't just get in touch with Lexa, Lexa does if she wants to. Thus, Clarke had no other choice than to steal Anya's phone when she took a nap while waiting for the flight to honor her promise and send Clarke back home safe.

This is how Clarke found herself in Guimarães, a rather charming quiet city not far from Porto. In any other day she would have loved to visit the place and admire the European architecture or taste the local gastronomy but it was not any other day. She was not in Europe to get out of her boring monotone life; she was in Europe chasing a psychopath, her lover.

 _For Clarke, it is just semantics._

Before she can even knock, the door flies open to a very surprised Lexa who pulls her in the house to avoid being seen.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Anya?"

"I…well, I ditched her," Clarke replies with a shrug.

"What happened?" Lexa asks again worried that something might have happened that kept Clarke from going back home.

"I wanted to see you," She blurts out. "I mean, I didn't want to leave without telling you…I don't wanna regret anything, you know…since you're…since you can die any minute."

"Telling me what?"

Clarke bites her lip looking deep into Lexa's green eyes then simply says, "I love you too."

Lexa frowns a little bit confused, "And you came all the way here to tell me that?" Clarke nods with a blush on her cheeks and before she can utter anything else, Lexa cups her face and kisses her.

The kiss is too chaste for Clarke's taste who wraps her arms around Lexa's neck and claims her lips in a more heated one whilst Lexa pushes her against the door kneading at her breast.

Things heat up quickly as Clarke can't help taking off both their clothes. Lexa smiles against her lips at her eagerness but Clarke is too aroused to care and she has been craving Lexa's lips for too damn long.

At the feeling of Clarke's bare skin against hers, Lexa realizes that they both are fully naked _– almost –_ she takes a step back to admire Clarke's body she has been fantasizing about for weeks.

She subconsciously holds her breath taking in Clarke's body in her naked glory then breathes out, "You're beautiful." It comes out as a shy whisper, she doesn't dare to show Clarke how _love-struck_ she is.

A blush creeps onto Clarke's cheeks, "Just…come here." She tugs Lexa's arm bringing her back against her missing the feeling of her toned body pressing into hers and kisses her. Lexa reaches for her leg and hooks it around her waist pushing harder against Clarke who moans in her mouth.

"Fuck," Lexa blurts out feeling the warmth of Clarke's soaked panties against her skin. She pushes her hand between their bodies and slips her hand in the blonde's underwear. "You're wet?" It is a fact but somehow it comes out Lexa's mouth as a question. "Did you come here to fuck?"

Feeling all her boldness gone, Clarke blushes shaking her head. She parts her lips about to say something but before she manages to do it Lexa's lips are back on hers.

This time it is more urgent, Lexa presses hard against Clarke. Clarke's arousal fueled hers, she is finally having the real Clarke not some random woman dressed in her clothes. She is kissing Clarke's lips, nipping at her skin, kneading her breasts, pushing against her core and swimming in her scent. And Clarke is grinding against her abs, scratching her back, breathing and moaning against her ear.

It is rushed and not how Lexa wants her first time with Clarke. Even if all she has been craving is to fuck her senselessly since she googled her and saw her picture, now she wants to make love to her but Clarke is making it hard for her to go slow.

Not wanting to keep her waiting, she pushes her slender fingers inside Clarke's folds without warning and closes her eyes to revel in the feeling. "Lexa," Clarke breathes out begging her to give her more by grinding her hips sloppily and Lexa complies fucking her blonde against the wall, nipping at the skin of her neck leaving love marks before soothing them with her tongue while whispering sweet words.

Feeling Clarke's walls clamping around her fingers, Lexa realizes that she is almost there and leans her head back to watch Clarke climaxing but finds her eyes closed.

"Clarke, look at me!" She demands and Clarke instantly opens her eyes. She bites her bottom lip at the sight of green eyes looking fondly at her. Lexa rewards her by rubbing her clit and it becomes harder for Clarke to not close her eyes and enjoy Lexa's slender fingers giving her probably one of the most intense orgasms of her life.

"You're beautiful," Lexa breathes out in awe while Clarke is cumming around her fingers.

 _Lexa has never been so happy._

She never wanted someone as bad as she wants Clarke, she never felt so captivated and intrigued by a woman like she is by Clarke and now here she is buried deep inside of Clarke pleasuring her.

She never felt worth of love but Clarke loves her, Clarke came back to her, Clarke said the words she never heard from anyone, Clarke cares for her safety, Clarke loves her.

 _And Clarke? Clarke has never felt so alive._

Everything looks better since Lexa came into her life, everything feels more intense and tastier because of Lexa. Because as long as Lexa is part of her life, she is not certain to wake up the next morning or see the sun set so she lives and values every minute of her day. Since Lexa walked into her life, she stopped surviving and began living.

"Fuck," She breathes out watching Lexa taste her on her own fingers. A small smile appears on her full lips and Clarke finds herself driven to taste them but just then Lexa moves away, "Who said I'm done with you?"

Clarke is about to protest but then a yelp of surprise escapes her lips instead as Lexa carries her bridal style and takes her to the bedroom. As soon as her back hits the mattress Lexa kisses her tenderly and for the first time she believes her. She trusts that those lips which belong to a psychopath did not lie to her when they uttered, _'I love you.'_ because she could feel it, the love.

It feels different. Like she has never been kissed, touched and fucked. It feels like the first time because it simply is. No one ever _made love_ to her, not even Finn. Lexa's lips, her caresses and the way she pays attention to her body and needs feel like the world stopped existing around them. Neither the painful past weeks of her life nor the uncertain future threatening them exist, no one and nothing matters but her.

Lexa is a cold hearted killer as much as she is a tender and attentive lover and it confuses Clarke. How can someone so tender and cute be so heartless and dangerous?

With Lexa's skilled mouth against her pussy, she's not able to use her brain and think about the answer. She doesn't want to because she loves Lexa and because she makes her feel alive and safe. Safe enough to nap in her arms naked and spent.

Lexa on the other hand is too overwhelmed by this new set of emotions to fall asleep, she cherishes every minute Clarke allows her to spend with her knowing how _peace_ is ephemeral like everything good in her life.

Clarke wakes up to ticklish fingertips dancing on her skin, she moans reaching for Lexa's hand and brings it to her mouth, kisses it before trapping it against her chest. She doesn't want to leave yet, she wants to stay longer. Lexa chuckles softly against her hair then whispers, "Wake up, Clarke."

"No," She pouts cuddling further into Lexa who gives up closing her eyes to enjoy the last few minutes of Clarke in her arms before trying again.

The next time she wakes up, the warmth of Lexa's body is long gone and with it all the sense of safety vanishes. She storms out of the bedroom and relaxes instantly at the smell of food realizing that Lexa didn't leave her, she just closed the bedroom's door to not disturb her again until dinner is ready.

It is only when Lexa looks back at her that Clarke realizes she is fully naked. She feels her cheeks burning and closes the distance between them wrapping her arms around Lexa. "I thought you left." She mutters against her lips before pecking them.

"Not without filling this," Lexa replies tickling her stomach.

"You're spoiling me." Clarke comments and Lexa smiles at her then tilts her head and pecks her lips without adding anything else.

She turns back and arranges a dish before taking Clarke's hand and walks her back to the bedroom. She wraps a blanket over Clarke's shoulders first then sits next to her on the bed where they eat silently.

Once they finished, Lexa felt her heart sink at having to send Clarke away from her. "You have to leave, Clarke. You're not safe here."

Clarke straddles her lap and showers her face with soft kisses answering, "I can take care of myself."

"I know," Lexa sighs. "I don't want you to leave too believe me, but you have to….at least for now."

"What if you…what if I don't see you again?" Clarke asks feeling her throat tightening and tears burning her eyes.

"You will, Clarke." Lexa promises to reassure her stubborn blonde but Clarke is not having it. She drops the blanket off her shoulders and tugs at Lexa's shirt to take it off then silences her with a searing kiss.

"Wait, Clarke...wait," Lexa whispers against Clarke's lips trying to stop her but Clarke is too busy unbuttoning her jeans to care. She is horny and she wants to love Lexa the way she did to her a few hours ago but Lexa flips them over and silence her pressing the palm of her hand against her mouth.

"Shh…get dressed, lock the door and don't get out unless I tell you." Lexa orders and just like that she jumps out of the bed, takes her guns leaving Clarke confused but not for too long as the next thing she hears is a loud noise then a deafening silence, someone just broke in. She doesn't understand how Lexa knew that someone was about to broke in but again she is a killer and a very good one. Of course she would always be aware of her surroundings otherwise they wouldn't be here.

She gets off the bed and tiptoes to the door trying to understand what is happening. It takes her barely a few seconds to decide that she is not going to let Lexa alone, she can protect her on her own way. Maybe if she walks out to the living-room naked the assaulter will think he broke in the wrong apartment and leave, it is stupid she knows but she cannot think of anything else at the moment and it is not like she has much choice really! Her clothes are back there and so is her phone, she is unarmed and she is not a street fighter. So she takes a deep breath then walks in the living-room when her heart stops.

"Clarke!" Finn blurts out as confused as she is at seeing him. "What are you doing here? Naked?"

"Finn?" She lets out in a questioning tone not believing her own eyes.

"You're cheating on me with this?" He gestures with his gun behind her where Lexa came out of her hiding. Clarke ignores him and asks, "You're an assassin?"

Lexa chuckles at the situation, she had a fair share of crazy relationships but nothing like this. She walks carefully closer to the blonde, she wants to put some distance between Clarke and this moron – the so-called Finn – who is aiming his gun straight at Clarke, her Clarke.

"You're cheating?" He asks again and Clarke feels her insides boiling with anger.

"That's all you care about? I mean…you're a killer too," She points out gesturing at the gun in his hand then questions genuinely, "Since when?"

"Put your clothes on and leave," Finn orders holding his gun straighter in Lexa's direction.

"I'm not leaving anywhere." Clarke blurts out angrily then grabs a gun from the back of Lexa's jeans. "Can anyone fucking stop giving me orders?" She roars looking between Finn and Lexa.

"Clarke," Lexa lets out calmly to get her attention then continues, "You're not being scary, you know? You're just looking hotter."

"Shut up!"

"Alright," Lexa nods and Finn huffs annoyed, "You're such a butt head, you can't shoot anything just leave and let me do my work here."

Lexa nods in agreement with Finn's suggestion and it only makes Clarke angrier, she is tired of being treated like a poor little thing. She shoots Finn's leg without hesitating a second then turns towards Lexa and asks threateningly, "You were saying?"

"God, you're making me wet," Lexa blurts out eyeing Clarke from her head to toe while Finn is screaming from pain.

"Lexa!"

"Sorry, Clarke…but I mean look at you. You're being badass and naked and…..I can't help it." Lexa explains.

"Fucking lesbians, I'm gonna kill you two," Finn says and Lexa attacks him right away kicking his gun off his hand then tackles him on the floor before he can harm any of them. He tries to get the upper hand but Lexa is fast to twist his arm and control him.

"Who sent you?" She growls pushing her gun against his head.

"You know better than to ask," He replies trying to defend himself when Lexa hits him on the head with her gun to stop moving.

"I don't know, I got a name and address that's all."

"Liar," Lexa kicks him harder this time and he whimpers painfully. "You're exclusively assigned UK targets. Who sent you? "

"You knew?" Clarke lets out confused and Lexa looks up at her to answer but says instead, "Clarke, put something on. I can't concentrate."

Clarke blushes realizing that she doesn't need to be fully naked for this, she walks to where her clothes are scattered, grabs her shirt and puts it on then calls Lexa to get her answer.

"More, Clarke. It's cold out there, you need more than just your shirt."

"I'm not leaving," Clarke runs out of patience.

"I know. Can you just get me some ice cream? I'll explain later," Lexa softly asks as if she was not on top of Finn with a gun in her hand. Clarke freezes looking stupidly at Lexa dumbfounded by her request and tone, she doesn't know if she should trust her with Finn's life.

"Don't, Clarke. She's going to kill me," Finn begs cowardly and Lexa hits him again, "Shut up." Then looks at Clarke with the softest loving eyes and adds, "I'll deal with him, don't worry. I'm really craving ice cream, please?"

Clarke hesitates for a few seconds then nods and gathers her clothes and get dressed before leaving Lexa alone with Finn. She needs to trust her, at least for now. Lexa loves her, she won't ever play her again at least not after what happened between them today.

She walks around Guimarães' street confidently as if she's not dating a criminal _– a psychopath –_ as if she didn't leave her husband with a killer _– correction her ex-husband who happens to be a hitman himself_.

 _As if she is not a partner in crime now, a criminal herself._

She walks through the streets for a while hoping to figure out what the hell she is doing but finds it difficult to think sensibly knowing that someone out there is still trying to kill Lexa, to kill her. She finally notices a grocery store and remembers that she is out here for a reason, to get Lexa ice-cream.

She doesn't bother knocking on the door, she is sure Lexa already knows it is her so she opens the door and walks in the apartment hands full with the grocery bags. She didn't know what Lexa's favorite ice-cream flavor is so she got one of each.

Lexa is sitting on the couch now fully dressed and the living-room is spotless, tidier than before. She welcomes the blonde with a soft smile but Clarke doesn't really notice it and asks worriedly, "Finn?"

"Bedroom," Lexa replies calmly walking to Clarke's direction and helps her with the grocery bags. "You got me every flavor!" Lexa exclaims touched by Clarke's attention then pecks her lips and adds, "Thank you."

"I didn't know what you like so.." Clarke shrugs trying to hide her blush.

"That's sweet," Lexa comments wrapping her arm around her waist to pull her for a kiss.

Clarke smiles thinking about a reply but then Finn's whining brings her back to reality as she remembers that now is not the time to flirt with Lexa. She moves away from her and goes to check on him.

Finn is tied to the bed by both hands and one leg whilst his injured one is covered with a bandage. Lexa kept her word and didn't kill him but she clearly didn't come to an understanding with him as she gaged him with a piece of fabric. Clarke takes pity on him and takes it out to talk to him but all he does is blurting threats and homophobic insults at her and Lexa.

She rolls her eyes and tries to put the shirt back in his mouth and silent him but finds it hard as Finn keeps moving and trying to bite her. She walks out the room and slams the door behind her and joins Lexa on the couch.

"Thank you for not killing him," She says taking the spoon from Lexa's hand and digs into her ice-cream. Lexa stares at her with a smile on her lips and says, "I'll try but I can't promise you I won't, he's the pettiest and most boring person I've ever had to deal with."

"I kno-…try harder, please?"

Lexa nods then opens her mouth to take the spoon Clarke is feeding her. She enjoys the warmth of her presence for a moment, long enough for Clarke to share the ice-cream with her and to exchange a few timid kisses in between before she tells her that Anya is coming to get her back informing her that she already booked another flight ticket for her.

"What about him?"

"I won't kill him until I finish my mission," Lexa promises knowing that Clarke will not leave unless she is one hundred percent sure that Finn is going to be safe.

"Ok, thank you I guess?" She frowns at her words but not for too long as Lexa kisses her concern away. Clarke deepens the kiss pressing forward against Lexa not wanting to let go of her yet. She knows what Lexa is about to say, she knows she eventually has to leave her.

"See you in a few weeks?" Lexa breathes out, voice filled with hope then her eyes glance down at Clarke's bruised lips for a second before they look back up into hers.

"It's going to be the longest weeks of my life," Clarke sighs.


End file.
